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My word needs your help to become the newest member of Webster’s dictionary
Some of you have it.
Some of you are filled to the max with it.
Some of you want it.
And some of you are under the impression that you do not know anybody with it, but if you were to ask, your boss might actually point a finger back at you.
From time to time, I create, improv, develop, formulate and just flat out make up words that really should be part of our vernacular.
So what word do I want to become a staple in people’s everyday language? Slackatudity.
Right after I typed in the word “slackatudity,” my too-smart-for-its-own-good computer slapped a red line under the letters denoting it as a non-word or as I reference it a “flub.”
However, this new word I have introduced into the English language – and every other language including Tibetan – is neither misspelled nor a figment of my unorthodox imagination. It is reality.
While other words similar to my highly technical word do exist in dictionaries that are offshoots from the mainstream catalog of words in Webster’s, those other words do not smoothly roll off the tongue and do not warrant enough prestige to make the vaunted Webster’s.
The first word on the other lists that has yet to make the cut is “slackitude,” which is a blend of slacker and attitude. It is aptly described as someone with no responsibilities who gets by pretending to be hard at work. Lackadaisical is a synonym.
Another word – one that has more of the slackatudity mindset – is “slackitivity,” which is the action of doing nothing when you really should be doing something and not caring.
Although the more I examine the word slackitivity the more it is growing on me, it isn’t the kind of growth you want. It is a growth like a fungus or an extremely visible wart. Both are not pleasing to the eye and you feel the undeniable urge to scratch yourself as if you were infested with fleas.
But my word of slackatudity, however, is so easy flowing in conversation. Say it with me: “ssss-lak-uh-TOO-D-T” Oh come on, one more time with gusto and pay no attention to the gentleman seated next to you at McDonald’s eating a Quarter Pounder with cheese who is looking at you as if you should be visited by men in white jackets who will toss you into a room with rubberized walls.
“Ssss-lak-uh-TOO-D-T” Now don’t you feel better. I know I do.
Originally, I felt destined to make the establishment of the word slackatudity a mere hobby, but, alas, no more. Nope, I have escalated my venture into a full-fledged mission. That’s correct; I bumped my pursuit of a well-crafted rubber body suit for winged bugs so they will not meet their maker every single time they smack into your car windshield. My now-postponed splendid “Bounce-A-Bug” program also would eliminate most of the goo and guts with the traditional windshield splatterings.
That master plan must wait.
I cannot allow the true essence of the world slackatudity to engulf my life as it has done to others. No, I must forge ahead with my all-out blitz to make “slackatudity” a word of legitimacy, a word of substance, and, most of all, a word that you never want your employer to define you and your work performance with.
For a word to be placed into Webster’s, it has to have a definition. It is hard to go wrong with the “don’t care” slackitivity version, but my word has a persona all its own.
The script should read – Slackatudity (Ssss-lak-uh-TOO-D-T). Adjective. 1. A person or persons who deem work something for others to do. 2. A person who believes that someone else or the government should provide support for said person’s laziness. 3. A person who either skirts by the boss’ requirements to retain employment or never actually attempts to obtain a job. 4. A non-retired person most commonly found lying on a couch during the traditional work hours, or a person spending time growing long hair, financing tattoos with welfare checks while living 24 hours a day on a beach. 5. Most similar to the animal kingdom’s sloth, who never moves, allowing algae to grow on its fur.
We all know of individuals who have some element of slackatudity flowing through their body. It may even be a relative like your bum brother-in-law, good-for-nothing aunt or loafer nephew. Since those with slackatudity typically are not the reading type, you probably are not one, but don’t be so sure.
As for me, I did an in-depth inter-personal analysis of myself while writing this column and came to the conclusion that I too have slackatudity. I had planned on writing this piece for publication a few weeks ago, but didn’t as I instead opted to count the tiny dots in the ceiling panels.
So please help me in my endeavor to make slackatudity a bondafide word. Use it in random conversations. Slap it onto the Internet. Hire a pilot to skywrite it for you.
If slackatudity does not become a Webster’s word, it wouldn’t be for my lack of trying.
I am going to get right on the task of promoting it right after I take a nap.
Enoch Autry is the publisher-editor of the Sylvania Telephone.