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Flinging of fruit leaves a mark, puts couple in a pickle with cops

First Byline: 
Derek Moy

A simple battery report was filed Dec. 14 with the Screven County Sheriff’s Office after an alleged dispute outside of the West View Apartments.
“The report speaks for itself,” Investigator Brett Dickerson said.
In the report, a woman said she let a man spend the night after they had worked out their differences. When the previous couple, and now on-good-terms pair, woke up in the morning things changed and an argument started, the report read.
The woman told the man to leave, but he was already outside the residence with a Vlassic pickle in hand. The words continued to be traded and the man took a bite of the pickle and then threw it at the woman, hitting her directly in the face below her nose.
“The complainant… then stated the offender then fled the scene on foot because of the vegetable assault,” the report read.
There were no signs of battery evident on the woman and photographs were taken to prove no injuries were sustained after the pickle was thrown.
An investigation by the newspaper staff and sheriff’s office discovered the pickle is a cucumber, which is a fruit and not a vegetable.
The Vlassic pickle is not mentioned again in the report and its whereabouts are unknown as of press time.
“Attempts to locate the offender met with negative results,” the report read, although unclear if the offender mentioned was the pickle or ex-boyfriend.
The investigation continues.